The Colorado Rockies generally get off to slow-to-slowish starts. Then there is their tendency to get hot and win oodles of games down the stretch. We’ve seen this work to a point that it gets them into the playoffs. And we have also seen it get them the “You’re a Little Late for the Party” award. The Rockies are off to a slow start. A very slow one. I mean we’re talking hovering-around-or-below-the-Padres-in-the-standings slow.

So do they deal off their trade-able assets or keep them? Here’s what they should be doing:

Trade-able Assets:

• OF/INF Michael Cuddyer
• 1B/PH Jason Giambi
• C Ramon Hernandez
• 2B Marco Scutaro
• P Jamie Moyer
• P Jeremy Guthrie
• RP Esmil Rogers
• P Josh Outman
• P Guillermo Moscoso

Assets That Are Trade-able, but will Likely Stay in Colorado:

• SS Troy Tulowitzki
• OF Carlos Gonzalez
• P Alex White

Asset That is Trade-able, but Won’t be Dealt:

• 1B Todd Helton

Everyone Else:

• C Wilin Rosario
•  OF Tyler Colvin
• OF/INF Eric Young Jr
• 2B Tommy Field
• P Christian Friedrich
• P Juan Nicasio
• 3B Jonathan Herrera
• 3B Jordan Pacheco
• INF Chris Nelson
• RP Rafael Betancourt
• RP Matt Belisle
• P Matt Reynolds
• P Josh Roenicke
• P Carlos Torres
• P Adam Ottavion

First off, the rotation is a mess. And that might be putting it nicely. Juan Nicasio and Jamie Moyer have been serviceable. Alex White is experiencing the normal struggles of a young pitcher. Christian Friedrich has been the lone bright spot, and Jeremy Guthrie has made the Orioles look smart for once.

Guthrie was picked up by Colorado at the price of Matt Lindstrom and Jason Hammel. Hammel has been very good in Baltimore, and Lindstrom has been solid out of the bullpen. Furthermore Guthrie has been shaky in Colorado. While with the Orioles he pitched well in a loaded AL East. The thinking would be that because of that he could make it pitching in Colorado. That theory has since been thrown out the window. In three home starts Guthrie has allowed six runs per start. That’s a little easier to swallow if you’re pitching in Colorado, however not when it’s against the Padres, Giants and get this, Mariners. You know you’re struggling when you get tagged for six runs against Seattle. Not to mention two of the other three worst offensive teams in the league.

So, now that we’ve established that Jeremy Guthrie is expendable, let’s pile it on even more. The Rockies have slathered on the young pitching in the last year or two. White was picked up in the ill-fated (for Cleveland) Ubaldo Jimenez deal along with potential frontline starter Drew Pomeranz. They also acquired young arm Tyler Chatwood from the Angels and already had guys like Nicasio and Freiedrich. Those five right there leave little no room for the current rotation guys in the next couple years. Hence Guthrie is even more expendable. We should also throw in the fact that Jamie Moyer isn’t going to pitch forever (well maybe…) and that… well, yeah.

So, now that I’m done rambling about pitching I’ll actually suggest some trades:

Trade Michael Cuddyer, Guillermo Moscoso and a PTBNL to Boston for Kevin Youkilis.

Boston gets to move Youkilis, inevitably something that has come up, and they not only get rotation help (Moscoso), but a bat that can fill in at positions where they need the offense (corner outfield spots, possibly third base). Colorado meanwhile gets a fix at the hot corner as well as a first baseman for whenever Jason Giambi and Todd Helton retire. Plus, what slumping hitter wouldn’t want to play half their games in Colorado? The Rockies also get the opportunity to throw two young hitters (Eric Young Jr and Tyler Colvin) at the right field grass and see which one sticks.

Trade Guthrie and Esmil Rogers to the Yankees for for Phil Hughes, Ben Gamel and a PTBNL.

The Yankees certainly need some rotation help. Plus we’ve established that Guthrie can pitch well in the AL East, albeit with a terrible offense, but who knows what he’s capable of with a good offense. The Rockies get to try out Hughes while their other arms get close to joining the big boys. And not to mention Gamel is one of the Yankees top twenty prospects and can hit. Plus he’s a ways away, so time will take its toll on the current outfield to make room for Gamel. Rogers is out of options at the moment and certainly warrants a PTBNL if not more.

Trade Ramon Hernandez to the Rays for Cesar Ramos.

Hernandez has been all right. But while the Rockies loaded up on rotation arms, their bullpen took a hit. Huston Street was shipped off to the Padres and while Rafael Betancourt is a solid closing option, the Rockies could use another back-end arm. Incidentally Ramos is a former Padres. Plus it wouldn’t hurt to give the PT (that’s “playing time” as the kids say) to Wilin Rosario, a young catcher with a lot of pop. The Rays are almost a complete team when fully healthy. The only glaring hole is behind the dish where they could use an upgrade over Jose Molina.

So there are some trades that the Rockies should make. Obviously they are going to do them because, come on, who wouldn’t trust this exceedingly credible source.

(sarcasm, sarcasm and sarcasm)